Loneliness

Loneliness can be felt in many different ways. You can feel lonely in a room full of people especially if you don't know their language or you don't understand what is going on. Another way you may feel lonely is if you live in a remote place where there are not a lot of people. You may also feel lonely because you are a long way from home and can't communicate with people you care about. I also believe you can be lonely because you want to or choose to be.

We live in a remote place.  Though we live in a remote place, it is a government station.  So we don't live all by ourselves with no one around.  There are people that come and go.  These are the people we have come to minister to. 

There are times when I don't understand what is going on because I don't know the local language yet.  I have picked up some so I can sometimes get context.  Because we are a government station there are others here (from Papua New Guinea) that also do no understand this local language.  They are government workers.  Most work in the clinic here.  Since this is the case most things are done in tok pisin which I do understand. 

For me loneliness is not about the language,  or the remoteness.  Loneliness is the lack of ability to communicate with those I love from my own country.  Recently we have had a new trial.  Our internet went down on our phone.  We do not know for sure if it is our phone or the tower.  We still have phone access but since it is so expensive we don't  get many calls.  When we had internet we would get several emails a day.  It has now been 2 weeks since we have had internet.  This may seem trivial.  Maybe you don't have internet at your house, and you think that's not such a big deal.  Being 14,000 miles away from family and friends with no internet is a big deal to me.  I guess if I never had it I wouldn't miss it.  Right now I am really missing it.   I have to put down feelings of worry.  What if something happens to family and friends?  Plus I just miss the communication and being able to "talk" via email to those I love and care about!

So what am I learning?  Loneliness  can be a choice we make.  Like when our kids are "bored".  I as a mom can always find a way for them to not be bored.  They don't complain to me much about that. :)  In the same way I can choose to not be lonely by not dwelling on it.  I do live in a house with 9 people.  It is rarely "lonely" in the sense of being all alone.  I find that choosing to not be lonely is a good choice.  It sure makes my family happy rather than me moping about.  In PNG I have learned that many times we are put in situations that we have no control over.  Though my flesh hates this my spirit understands that these are times of relying on God.  We have seen God work in miraculous ways because we have been put in these circumstances.

Are you feeling lonely?  Does life not seem to be going your way lately?  I'd like to leave you with a verse...Psalm 37:5a  Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him:...